Surviving the Holiday Fat Shaming

Posted on December 20, 2016 by Jen Anderson | 3 comments

There's a lot to love about the holiday season - the food, the family. There's also a lot to hate about the holiday season, like all the drama surrounding food and family. 

You can make this year better, no matter how much your relatives work your last nerve. It has nothing to do with a sunny attitude and everything to do with preparing for battle. Sure, it's nice to hope that your aunt won't take you aside to tell you to lose weight, but it's not realistic. 

Our friends and family are who they are and there's no point in expecting them to change without first being visited by ghosts. Sure, we'd like to walk into a party and relax but that's not going to happen. We need to go in prepared so that we can relax.

Let Fashion Be Your Armor

A flak jacket won't protect you from someone's snide comments about what's on your plate, but a fabulous outfit will. I don't mean some clingy-in-all-the-right-places dress that you wear to a school reunion to let the quarterback regret never paying any attention to you. I'm talking about something that makes you feel comfortable in your own skin. Clothes that fit you perfectly (not too big or too small) help you feel and look your best. They let you breathe and move without having to think about it.

Even better, clothes that fit properly (which includes working with your shape instead of against it) can make you love how you look in the mirror. When you check your outfit before leaving home, you can see how great you look. That confidence can make it so much easier to deal when your mom offers you seconds on dessert ten minutes after not-so-casually mentioning the latest fad diet.

 

Psych Yourself Up

The Holiday Season requires pep talks all day, every day. Picture a football coach getting you all riled up and ready to eat as many (or as few) latkes as you want. Are you going to let your rude cousin keep you from eating a cookie decorated by an eight-year-old? Of course not! Now go out there and show them what you're made of.

You also need to plan out your plays in advance. Decide how you're going to respond to certain things and then run through them in your mind. Aunt Sadie can't eat a bite without loudly discussing her diet first? That's time to remind yourself that she's not talking about you. She's too miserably wrapped up in diet culture to be thinking of anyone but herself. I like to pipe up with, "Aunt Bea worked so hard on this meal, I couldn't possibly say a thing against it. Don't hurt the gravy's feelings, Sadie."

 

Cousin Milton takes you aside to express concern over your health? Give him a hug and say, "Don't ever change," and then walk away. You don't owe him a response and there's probably something you like about him.

You Can Do This

You are smart and capable and stylish as all get out. You can survive the Holidays with your self image intact. Even if you have to keep texting your bestie for emotional support the whole time.


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3 Responses

Antoinette Mule Lyons
Antoinette Mule Lyons

January 18, 2017

You all have my heart! ❤️ I feel people think that if a woman is large she is lazy, self indulgent and so many other negative things. That is just wrong!!! It is discrimination! We are beautiful active bright ladies! We deserve love and respect. Thank you for standing up for us! I love this spot I can feel good here !!

Diane Gilson
Diane Gilson

December 21, 2016

Thanks so much for your blog articles!

I’ve been listening to the Audible version of the book “I do it with the lights on” (Whitney Thore). While I feel very sorry that it took her (the author) so long to learn to accept and love her body, the messages that she ultimately conveys about her journey to self-acceptance and self-love are greatly pleasing to hear. She founded the concept of NoBodyShame in 2014 and I applaud that she’s helping people, world-wide, to live more enlightened lives!

I believe that you’re doing the same thing here. We ALL deserve to feel good about ourselves – and that means being able to find lovely, comfortable clothes to wear! I’ve purchased clothes through “Plus By Design” for many years for exactly that reason! Thanks again for adding to the “conversation” through your blog. Great idea!!!!

Pam
Pam

December 21, 2016

Thank you for your honest blogs. I’ve enjoyed reading the two received so far. You obviously encounter the same attitudes and comments equating smaller sizes to bigger brains that I’ve received all of my 68 years. Our society really needs to evaluate its prejudices!

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