I won't keep you in suspense - it's confidence. Sorry, I know you were hoping I'd say that all you have to do is buy this one outfit and you'd have all the style in the world. Instead, I'm telling you that style comes from feeling good about yourself in a world that keeps telling you to hate yourself. But if it were easy, everyone would be stylish.
Think back to the last time you tried on an outfit that you weren't quite sure about. And now think back to the last time you wore your favorite outfit. The iffy outfit made you look and feel like a high school freshman walking into the school cafeteria for the first time. The fave made you feel and look like the Queen Bee that everyone wishes they could be like.
Sure, some of that comes from knowing which colors and styles look best on you. But the difference between looking Just OK and looking Fabulicious is knowing that you look so much better than OK.
Time For a Pep Talk
No, not from me. From yourself. We all look at ourselves in the mirror or and all we notice is flaws. That's fine as long as the flaws are something easily fixed - a stray hair, shoes that are the wrong color for this outfit, separates that don't go together after all.
But when we don't find anything we can fix, we focus on the things that we can't. We wish that woman we're looking at could be taller (or shorter), thinner in some spots and bigger in others, and when did my neck start looking like that?!
If your best friend, or even a complete stranger, said those things about herself, you'd jump in and point out her good features and by the way you weren't put on this earth just to look good so you should stop forgetting how fabulous you are in the inside. Mr. Rogers liked you just the way you are and so does everyone else who matters.
Now what if you said those things to yourself?
It's Not That Easy
What we all need is a secret weapon. Or several. Think about the things that make you feel confident and stylish and amazing.
For me it's lipstick (preferably the moisturizing kind), boots (purple Doc Martens or classic knee-high boots), and comfortable waistbands. No really. For so many years, I lived in pants and skirts that had no give and dug into my middle throughout the day. I spent all day fidgeting and adjusting my clothing. I felt so bad about my clothes that I didn't have any spare energy to like myself. Or stand up for myself. Or enjoy myself.
What's Your Secret Weapon?
Maybe it's an amazing, colorful jacket or sheer cardigan. Maybe it's classic pieces in your best colors. Maybe it's a note hung on your mirror or by your desk. You can never have too many secret weapons. Let us know what yours are in the comments.