It's Summer Troll Season
Posted by Jen Anderson on
The weather is starting to heat up, and you're starting to dream of summer cookouts, trips to the pool, and leaving the house without a jacket. Sadly, some people continue to be the absolute worst. They think they're entitled to an opinion about us - and that their opinion actually matters to us. It can ruin your whole day.
Summer Trolls and Where They Lurk
You can encounter a troll anywhere people gather. If food is being served, someone may comment on what you are and aren't eating. Show a little skin or walk around in a bathing suit, and someone might comment on your body and whether or not it should be on display.
The Power Of A Snappy Comeback
A good comeback can end the conversation and make the troll go away. There are few things more satisfying than shutting someone down with one sentence. Usually we don't think of that sentence until three days later. Which is why I like to collect them and file them in the back of my mind.
My old standbys include: "And this is your concern why?";"Rude, much?";and "Well actually..." followed by facts and figures. (That's right. Mess with me and I will bore you to death. You asked for it.)
If you can't of anything else in the moment, I hope that you can remember "OK."
The Power of a Cute Outfit
They say the best defense is a good offense. I find that when I'm the most fabulously dressed person in the room, trolls don't bother me like they do when I dress to blend in. Toppers and Caftans make excellent cover ups, and a Sleeveless Shell/Crop Pant combo is more stylish and comfortable than most shorts and tees.
We've all heard that Eleanor Roosevelt said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. As much as I love a good Eleanor Roosevelt quote, I can't agree with her on this one. Trolls can attack with so much confidence that of course it can throw you off balance. If someone makes you feel less than, you have my permission to cut them out of your life. Even if that disrupts your entire social circle. If your friends don't leap to your defense, or even sort of agree with the troll you clearly need better friends.
Here’s some that have worked effectively for me….
Non-confrontational:
What did you say?
Repeat the same question, then follow up with…..
Oh I don’t speak rude
Put your finger to your lips and shhhhhh them, saying “that’s a secret!” Then walk away.
Or put that same finger up like something important just happened and ask….”could you hold that thought?” As you walk away never to return.
If your preference is to be more confrontational:
Shake your head and look at them slowly asking….Don’t you wish you could control your impulse to be rude and obnoxious ?
Have you ever considered joining a great self help group to curb your enthusiasm for rude and obnoxious comments ? I have a referral card in my purse…..
How long have you had rudeness issues? Have you ever sought treatment?
Or fire off the longest list of rude personal questions you can think of….they will get the message….
What plastic surgery was your latest fix? Is that your real hair, are those your real teeth? What’s your real age? What’s your current salary?
My final:
Are you entitled? Do you have a valid reason to display arrogance? Why? Are you troubled? We’re you abused as a child? Never answer with anything but another question…..it s very disarming for a troll. They have difficulty being boxed in with questions as their normal tactic is to strike and run……
Another couple of comebacks:
“And your offensive opinion is supposed to matter to me?”
“And you are such a paragon of male/female pulchritude? Not likely!”
And of course the best of all: pause, slowly broaden your smile to a giggle, then an outright mirthful guffaw and simply walk away.
Great snappy comebacks! Yes, if you are a larger-sized person who attracts trolls, it helps a lot to have a storehouse of comebacks filed in your brain. My second wife had one that she even used on a doctor or two: Q: Have you ever considered using [fill in weight loss program here]? My sister-in-law just lost 50 pounds on that program! A: No thanks, I’ve given up dieting—I’m fat enough already!